Doris Jean - part 2

 We left off with Doris Jean, my dad, and I moving to A to Z Mobile Home Park.  Again, I was about 5 or so when we moved there.  Up until about two weeks ago, I can honestly say I have never really processed all of the trauma I went through from about age 5 until 12 years of age.  My dad was an alcoholic and one thing I could depend on was him coming home drunk every single day.  My brother tells me that I used to scream and cry when it was time for him to come home.  He wasn't physically abusive but he was unpredictable.  He would always take our green telephone receiver and bust it through the kitchen window. 

We didn't talk about what was happening in the home, it was our normal.  I would go to school, and go about my young life like nothing was happening.   I remember being in Kindergarten and they would have those huge headphones that would plug into the record player.  I would get lost under those headphones and not want to take them off.  It was like they transported me to a happy place.  I remember when it would be time for my dad to come home I would sometimes pop on my plastic beads, slide on my jellies and be out the door.  I would tell people in the park that I was meeting friends or going on a date.  Anything to be away from the chaos.  Friends and neighbors knew what I was living with and they would look out for me the best they could.  I remember there was a young guy next door who lived with his mom. His mom had bright red hair.  When he would hear me screaming he would come to check to be sure I was ok.  Everyone called him Meatball and I can say when he was around, I felt safe.  Mr. Meatball, if you are reading this, thank you so much for taking the time to check in on me.  You were my saving grace.    

Doris Jean tried hard to make me smile, cook special meals and just be goofy but we never ever talked about what was happening.  I remember hearing that my dad was in jail for driving under the influence. I didn't know what that meant and had no idea how to process that information. My dad eventually came home and started having an affair with the lady who lived directly behind us.  I was so confused. I had no idea why my dad was staying with this lady.  Eventually, he moved back in with mom and me.  

My dad would feel so bad and guilty every morning when he woke up.  He would cry, beg for forgiveness and give me a pastry, candy, or gum.  This my friends is where I learned about comfort food and where I developed an unhealthy relationship with food that I am still trying to sort through now at age 50.  Doris Jean went through hell with this man but boy did she love him so.  She knew he was sick and needed help. She stood by him through everything.  She would pray all of the time that he would change, and be healed, and when I was 12, he quit drinking, cold turkey! 

So that trailer that was parked in Woodside then moved to A to Z Mobile Home Park, got picked up and moved to a lot in Sandtown.  Once my dad got sober his business took off.  He owned Luff's Mobile Home Service. He had Toter trucks and made a very good living for years.  He bought acreage in Sandtown, most of it was wooded.  He spent all of his spare time clearing the lot with tractors and heavy machinery.  Once he was finished it was a nice piece of property.  Tiny homes are all the rage these days and have become such a trend.  I was way ahead of the times back then! 

After a year or so on the land, my dad bought a white double-wide trailer.  Twice the space I was used to and I had my own bathroom. Fancy! He put it on a permanent foundation so there was no picking up this home and moving it anywhere.  He built a detached garage and things were looking pretty good!  The next few years were let's spoil Jackie rotten with all the things! I had a horse, a three-wheeler, an above-ground pool with a deck, a new ten-speed bike, clothes, records, you name it, I had it.  I had a friend whose dad really disliked me. He said I was too spoiled and my parents gave me too much.  He knew what I had gone through those first 12 years but this was what he was judging me on.  I believe he was jealous because he couldn't give his daughter all of those things.  One thing that I have learned over the years is to be careful how you judge people, you don't know what chapter you are walking into in their life.  Be happy for all of those who are winning and are in a good place because you have no idea what they went through to get there. 

Doris Jean was feeling pretty good about life!  I was happy, and dad was sober and successful. We were finally the family that she prayed for.  Until we weren't..